E-discussion: Summary of Week 4

Moderators' Summary of E-discussion
The Transition to Family Formation

Week 4 discussion is conducted with two phases of interrelated questions that are set to enable participants tackle the theme comprehensively with maximum cooperation. The discussion was guided by an attempt to approach the theme of what changes in behavior regarding family formation (age at which they leave home, marry, have sex, and have children) are most important to the welfare of the young, especially of girls, now and in the future.

Phase one

• Age at which they leave home
• Age at which they marry
• Age at which they have sex
• Age at which they have children

Phase Two

• In light of your community, do you think that new generation has different perspectives on when to leave home, to marry, to have sex and to have children than the older generation? If so, what in your opinion could be the reasons behind this change?
• Referring to your country and community, do you think that the education and knowledge play any role in determining when youth make decision to leave their family and build their own?
• What could be possible advantages / disadvantages of early marriage and early having children?
• What factors you suggest for youth to take into consideration before deciding to leave their parents and start their own families?

Phase one

Age at which they leave home
Regarding the age at which youth leave home and form families, Gwebalibatya Noeline from Uganda points out that youth who are out of school or have never attended any formal education will form families earlier than those who are in the school system; they would have children at an earlier time than their counterparts who are in school.

Hauwa Umar (Nigeria) believes that the age to leave home should be 18, and they should also be given the choice not to marry until they are 18. Irina Iurcisin, a 2nd year student of Economics from Moldova also supports the age of 18years. However, for him he says that, under this age the person has all his/her legal rights as well as the chance and the obligation to "grow up" and become a responsible citizen.

Age at which they marry
Noeline, from Uganda, adds that in most countries, the traditional trends to family formation i.e. marriage then having children have become less common among the youth. Single parenthood, cohabitation has replaced the traditional trend. This is due to some factors such as difficulties in finding employment.

Irina Iurcisin (Moldova) points out that it is not right to point the perfect age to marry, as every decision should be treated as particular one depending on the factors on the ground. However the age should be 22.

Revolving around the same theme, the youth of l'Agence Intergouvernementale de la Francophonie, represented by Michel Denis Richard add that illiteracy and poverty are two factors that influence the life and workings of the family. Poverty can drive a family into giving their children to be married at a young age in return of a dowry or in the hope of the in-laws will take care of them.

Forced or arranged marriages are other critical reasons for early marriage which are based on confusion between religion and tradition and which are important to be fought against to help youth make safe and sustainable families.

Education can be an effective weapon for families to do this because when parents send their children to school, they are no longer dependents but rather a hope to help their parents in their old age. They conclude that education of youth must also promote family responsibility.

However, and according to the young people of l'Agence Intergouvernementale de la Francophonie, youth marry late for many reasons. On one hand the phenomena of globalization and economic crises, going through countries are reducing the ability of young men to leave their family home, to arrange a marriage and eventually to take care of a family. On the other hand, young women whom programs target for schooling, emancipation, equality, and equity are committed to making up for the lost times over centuries and also bridge the gap with men.

Age at which they have sex
Hauwa Umar, Nigeria adds that it is more advisable to promote abstinence for children under 18 and safe sex for those above 18. The least age to marry should be 18 and above especially for girls.

Age at which they have children
Noeline Gwebalibatya (Uganda) hints that policies in different work environments lead to delay in child bearing especially on the side of women. Provided they are married they are free to have children. The age should be 18 and above. 

Phase two
It focuses mainly on community-related experiences and realistic case studies derived from the young discussants' own society and country .The following four questions are employed to guide the participants:

1. In light of your community, do you think that new generation has different perspectives on when to leave home, to marry, to have sex and to have children than the older generation? If so, what in your opinion could be the reasons behind this change?

Senka Cimpo from Sarajevo and an activist of NGO called Friends of Family comments that there are differences between young and old generation. Young people cannot get independent, have their own apartment/house, secure job, and for these reasons they don't leave home very early and do not decide to get married so easily.

But they have sex and that's what makes problems and conflicts with their parents and elders. Majority of elders like to believe their children do not have sex and they don't talk to them about that.

Even though they have not enough information and support, they do have sex and that's what brings them to unplanned and unwanted pregnancies, abortions or marriages for which they are not prepared.

Charles Xavier adds that there is a significant change compared to young people in the past. A lot of factors come into play to influence this. Among them are Lifestyles, peer influence, workload, and gender roles.

Raghada Mohamed (Egypt) points out that unlike older generations, Egyptian new generation decides to have their families at older age due to the increase of awareness of the huge responsibilities marriage can indicate and economic hardships. Youth now focuses first on obtaining academic study, finding a well-paid off job and later on choosing to get married.

Uruakpa Cajetano Van Luciano (Nigeria) comments that the new generation has new perspectives and this is mainly due to:

• Economic hardship and unemployment, especially in the third world countries.
• Education and the long time youth spend while going through the education process, tend to delay them in terms of leaving home and having their own families. 
• Misconception of marriage in the sense that modern boys want to acquire wealth before they can marry while girls also wish to marry already established men.
• Prevalence of promiscuity: Youth tend to satisfy themselves sexually before settling down for marriage.
• High bride price demanded by some tribes makes it impossible for some youths to engage in early marriage and societal values.

Referringto your country and community, do you think that the education and knowledge play any role in determining when youth make decision to leave their family and build their own?

Cimpo (Sarajevo) points out that there is no good approach through formal education programmes. Information on determining when youth make decision to leave their family and build their own depend on each school, personality of teachers and some subjects somehow related to family formation.

There are some centers and institutions where young people can get advice, especially in urban areas, but young people either don't know about these or they are embarrassed to go there.
In Van Luciano's opinion (Nigeria), youth who go for higher education leave their families late because they spend time under the tutelage of the parents. This is in the sense that leaving home and building one's own home means economic independence. Education makes people aware that marriage brings along with it financial responsibilities.

Raghada Mohamed (Egypt) asserts that the more youth get educated, the more they become aware of marriage as a responsibility and commitment rather than mere decision. Logically, when youth spend more time studying and pursuit knowledge, they marry at older age. However, the quality of education they acquire is a main factor in shaping a positive or a shallow personality and hence affecting their marriage choice.

What could be possible advantages / disadvantages of early marriage and early having children?

Cimpo (Sarajevo) adds that if young people have good living conditions and healthy and fulfilling relationship/marriage, the advantage is definitely their age for having children, the risk of pregnancy and infant complications, some disorders and diseases is lower for younger people, of course if they are not too young.

Disadvantages are for sure lack of maturity, incomplete independence, no time to get prepared for marriage and having kids, dealing with education/career building and family formation at the same time, which can all lead to bad marriages and divorce.

According to Van Luciano (Nigeria), for people who require large number of children, early marriage is an advantage because they will be able to produce as many children as they want before the wife will be weak to give birth to children. It reduces the possibility of promiscuity and by implication STIs and HIV/AIDS as long as they remain faithful to each other.

Furthermore,It helps for a better disciplining of children since both parents will still be energetic to control or subdue the negative behaviors of their children. While the disadvantages could be that it makes people produce more children than they can cater for. Some times they are not able to send their children to school, or give them a qualitative education.

Break-up of the family (marriage) due to inexperience in handling marriage issues is another disadvantage of early marriage. By implication, the children from such broken families can never benefit from effective parenting because they will be brought up in the absence of either the father or the mother.

Umar from Nigeria said "I’m from Northern Nigeria, where the custom of early marriage and child bearing for girls (frequently below the age of 18 and sometimes before the onset of menstruation, as early as 11 years old) invariably leads to early sexual contact and subsequent pregnancy at a time when a young girl is not adequately physically developed to permit the passage of a baby with relative ease. This can lead to a prolonged and obstructed labor and damage leading to VVF (Vesico-Vaginal Fistula) or the rectum (recto-vaginal fistula - RVF) or both."

"If nerves to the lower limbs are damaged, women may suffer from paralysis of the lower half of the body. The social consequences are she may be abandoned by her husband and then ostracized by society as being considered to have brought shame on her family.  Victims, therefore, become social outcasts. VVF is one of the most degrading morbidities resulting from pregnancy and childbirth. Maternal morbidity as a result of VVF or RVF is particularly high in Northern Nigeria. Out of an estimated 15, 000 cases of VVF in Nigeria 70% occur in the North."

What factors you suggest for youth to take into consideration before deciding to leave their parents and start their own families?

Cimpo (Sarajevo) and Gwebalibatya Noelin (Uganda) both agree youth should take many things into consideration before deciding to start their own families. They should have their school/college/university finished and have jobs. They should also have good communication skills, be prepared to compromise, be tolerant, know as much as possible about their partners, and get some counseling before marriage. They should do some genetic tests (genetic compatibility) before having children in order to be prepared for what may happen.

Liomba (Red Cross D.R.Congo) and Hauwa Umar –Nigeria are against early marriage, early sex and early child bearing especially for the good welfare of young girls. Children should wait until they are 18 years.

Sensitization and awareness should be created using BCC (Behavior Change Communication) materials and any other means possible, along with laws enacted to back them up.

Raghada Mohamed (Egypt) suggests that youth should be full aware that marriage means emotional, financial and physical responsibility and they should be prepared to take such a responsibility.

Education and the other means of knowledge should stress on the true meaning of marriage and its duties such as raising up efficient children, respecting one's partner, as well as sharing responsibilities and decisions.

Moreover, youth should regard marriage and having children as starting a new life that means a new responsibility not as merely a gate for emotional and sexual satisfaction or as a social and traditional norm.
 
Michel Denis Richard, reflecting the views of young people of la Francophonie, believes that to help youth today and tomorrow, it is important to implement/ reinforce operative family policy by means of a much larger solidarity. Assistance programs for couples in difficulty must be put in place in order to help youth surmount their difficulty and regain their long- term equilibrium.
 
As for youth themselves, they must understand that marriage has more advantages than cohabitation.  In effect, in marriage there is less depression, better sexual fulfillment, less violence, more stability, and better health and education for children by reason that common law relationships are less permanent.

In addition, young participants believe that in order to provide all the opportunities for the fulfillment of their families, youth must be able to go beyond the old ideas on marital life and on man -woman relationships in order to integrate the wealth of women's empowerment. They must understand that everyone, girls and boys, must contribute to maintain a good climate of family cohesiveness.

They suggest that forming a family and favoring the welfare of youth, it is important that youth marry at a reasonable age, the age of majority. This age varies from one country to another, from one person to another but should be situated generally at 18. It allows youth to choose their spouse ably, and to understand truly, the long-range scope of marriage and the constraints linked to starting a family in terms of responsibilities, time and means.

Youth should be aware of the fact that early marriage is at the origin of many problems that young families are living: divorce, the discontinuation of schooling especially of girls, maternal mortality, premature aging, the increase of fertility, and the reduction of the age between generations.
 
They should be aware that when forming a family, there are challenges such as divorce.  The consequences of divorce are adverse and often the separation is accompanied by suffering, administrative and judicial complications and important expenses. Youth must know that the trauma caused by the loss of one or both parents in a divorce can be the origin of a special vulnerability to physical illness and to mental problems for the child.